In my first blog I shared how I spent more than twenty years looking for the right approach to ancestral work before finally finding one that felt completely right for me. This week I wanted to explain how I decide where to begin, because it isn't based on who I think I should work with. It is based on what I am shown.
When I'm working with energy, I connect in using either a pendulum or my dowsing rods. Both work equally well for me, but for this ancestral work I chose to use my pendulum. Before I began, I dowsed each ancestral line to find out which one I should work with first. I also connected with each line in meditation to see how it felt. Those two approaches together have become an important part of the way I work.
When I first started, I thought I already knew what the answer would be. My nan, my mother's mother, was a spiritual healer and also read the tarot, so it seemed the obvious place to begin. I knew very little about the other sides of my family and my dad certainly wasn't interested in anything spiritual while he was alive. In my own mind I had already decided where I would start. The interesting thing was that the pendulum didn't agree with me. When my pendulum pointed towards my father's father's line, I was genuinely surprised. It wasn't the answer I had expected at all, so I checked it again. I wanted to make sure I hadn't influenced the result because I knew what I thought the answer ought to be. The second time I received exactly the same answer, so I accepted that perhaps I needed to stop thinking about it and simply trust what I was being shown.
Meditating with each ancestral line confirmed it for me. Every one of them felt different. One line really didn't seem to want me there at all. The only comparison I can make is that it felt like turning up at a party you hadn't been invited to. There was no warmth, no welcome and certainly no feeling that it was the right place to begin.
My father's father's line felt completely different. It felt safe. That's probably the best way I can describe it. On reflection, it almost feels as though there was an order that I was meant to work through. They already knew what that order was. I didn't. My job was simply to follow it.
People sometimes imagine that ancestral work is about connecting with grandparents or relatives you've known. That isn't how I work. I work with those ancestors who are the most healed and well. My intention was to work with the purest energy I could and allow those ancestors to help heal the generations between them and me. The nearest comparison I can think of is the game of Chinese whispers. A message starts in one place and is passed from one person to the next until, by the end, it can be very different from where it began. Family patterns can feel similar. They are carried through the generations, changing as they go. I wanted to go back as close to the beginning as I could rather than starting further down the line.
Although my nan was a spiritual healer, this work wasn't really about connecting with her. She died when I was four, so my memories of her in this life are limited. I do know that when I first started Reiki, she was very much around me in spirit and felt part of what was happening at that time, but this ancestral work reaches much further back than the relatives I've known personally.
The first ancestor I connected with from my father's father's line was a very kind, soft and gentle energy. He was powerful, but never threatening. I could see his face clearly. It had blue tattoos and his hair reminded me of some of the styles you see today, shaved at the sides with the longer hair plaited. From that first meeting I felt completely at ease.
When I later connected with my mother's father's line the experience couldn't have been more different. Had I met him first I honestly think I might have questioned whether I could continue. He was strong and almost authoritarian. He felt deeply shamanic. His face was hidden behind a mask made of the bones of animals and he wore antlers on his head, so unlike the first ancestor and I never actually saw his face at first.
What I hadn't expected was that the guide from my father's father's line came with me when I first connected with my mother's father's lineage. By then I trusted him completely and having that familiar presence there made all the difference. As I continued working with that lineage, I gradually became used to the energy. What had first felt intimidating became familiar, and I realised there had been a very good reason why I had been guided to begin where I did.
I've explored other ways of approaching ancestral work over the years, but none of them ever sat comfortably with me. This one does. It feels natural. More importantly, the work itself has continued to confirm that feeling.
Those first ancestors I connected with, the ones who are the most healed and well, didn't remain simply part of my ancestral work. Over time they became guides who now work with me in my healing as well. That certainly wasn't my intention when I started, but it has become one of the unexpected gifts of doing this work. I've come to recognise them, understand them and trust them, and they continue to support me beyond the ancestral work itself. Quite often I receive something I wasn't expecting at all. Because it takes me in a direction I hadn't already thought about, it doesn't feel as though I'm making it up to fit my own ideas. If anything, it usually challenges what I thought I knew. For me, that's one of the reasons I trust this work. It doesn't simply confirm my expectations; very often it changes them.
I'm grateful I didn't begin where I thought I should. If I had started with my mother's father's lineage, I think I would have found the energy overwhelming. Beginning with my father's father's line gave me the confidence to continue, and by the time I reached the second lineage I was ready for it. Sometimes we think we know the right order for things, but this experience taught me that trusting what I'm shown can take me somewhere far better than following my own assumptions.
